Beloved I have returned to disappoint and dismay! After spending two weeks marketing the lovely little Star-Telegram, and another two weeks mourning my loss, I am back in full rock-and-roll glory.
While trying to improve my own lot in life, I missed all the other good juicy stuff... the triumphant return of the nitro sweetness of NHRA racing, cheating in NASCAR, the Cheney shooting, Dubai Days and Port Week, Newsweek pulls the plug on terminally ill New Orleans, oh the things I have so missed making fun of!
Lo and behold, children I wake up on Fat Tuesday, and the voodoo gods give me Anna Nicole Smith at the Supreme Court, Google Smells Like Enron Spirit, and cry baby CBS sues Howard Stern. Please excuse me a moment longer while I choke back the tears of joy.
Before anyone gets seriously twisted, please understand the jurisprudential value of the Anna Nicole Smith case. Many times I find myself fighting for the rights of the poor and the defenseless, the down-trodden and the hygiene-challenged. Second only in importance to the Second Amendment, is the sticky constitutional issue of jurisdiction. Now, I am normally a
states' rights guy all the way. But there are two compelling arguments that the media and those arrogant legal commentators are missing. First, the greater jurisdiction that bankruptcy courts can exercise, the more money I can bring home to my lovely wife. Second, and perhaps even more importantly, the state court that Miss Smith lost in was in Texas. I have not completed my own review and analysis of all the relevant pleadings, but I seem to recall that the first paragraph of the jury instructions in the Texas case read something like this..."Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, before you answer each of the questions below, the Court reminds and instructs you that Miss Smith has made her money the old fashioned way... she humped it to death...". Now, does that hardly sound fair? There clearly are times that the federal gubment needs to step in and help the country's favorite stripper (and, in all fairness, the bankruptcy court found that dead man's son destroyed evidence in order to win...takes a real man to cheat and lie in court to beat up on any woman, no matter how far the angel has fallen).Don't be fooled, this case has such importance to the system... I am gonna have to engage in large scale research... all the way to the very beginning.
If anyone was paying attention two weeks ago, Google stock took a kick in the shorts. Not
because Google lost money, only because Google has let itself get tangled up in the game of analysts' outlooks and forecasts. More on that later, but here is the point that someone needs to make...Google may have a 32nd flavor, a little aftertaste of Enron.
Not because Google is ripping off its retirement funds, soaking cash out of the company, or setting up tricky little special purpose entities, but because investors fell in love with Google, without understanding how Google really makes its money, and failing to understand that stratospheric growth year after year and quarter after quarter isn't possible. You heard it here first (at least until Google turns this site black), in a year Google shares will be below $250 unless Google changes its basic business model, and you can ask GM how easy that is.
Serves those arrogant math geeks right... and by the way, in the interest of full disclosure, I have indeed been banned from AdSense, and I think there is a helluva lot better way to do what they want to do.... math tards...
CBS sued Stern today. They are pissed because he talked about Sirius Radio, they are pissed because Stern helped Sirius hit some subscriber targets and Stern got a tidy little $200 million
bonus for doing so. CBS claims that Stern and Sirius did all this at the cost of CBS, use of CBS airtime was a misappropriation of CBS's resources. Christ in a can ladies, Stern was a misappropriation of public airwaves for years. He had huge ratings in the last three months of his time on the public airwaves, because everyone wanted to hear the coming train wreck. Stern says that the ad space was sold out at the end, and I gotta believe that. 99% of my Stern experience was in the last three months. CBS also through in count that they had, essentially, first right of refusal to any new radio programming Stern might dream up. If I understand the charge, CBS is gonna tell a judge, with a straight face and a fancy suit, that THEY should have had a piece of Stern's work on Sirius, after years of leaving Stern dangle in the wind everytime the FCC got their thong in a tangle. I still think Stern's content was crap, but I am gonna prepare my resume now to serve as a high-priced expert for Stern's legal defense team... god I love this country.Vacation is over, Papa Justice is back, time to get... Formerly Living!
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