Jeez you guys Crack Me UP!

Aside from the 2 founding members of the Official Formerly Living fan club, and my cousin who down-braided me recently for never dropping a note, the vast majority of traffic to this little project have been the results of Google searches of words or phrases that somehow bring people to our humble abode. Someday, scientists will study you, and your little searches.

In the spirit of service and benevolence that long long-time readers have grown to expect from the staff at Formerly Living, I have decided to satisfy some of those intriguing, unanswered search queries...

For some reason, large segments of academia seem intrigued by the phrase "Everybody Funny, Now you Funny Too." This was the title to a post a couple of months ago, and has drawn in a lot of tire kickers. So far as I know, the earliest published form of the phrase was in a John Lee Hooker song, "House Rent Blues". Middle class white America may have been exposed to the phrase through the likes of George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Lord how we miss John Lee.

Upon learning of the Jeep Gladiator concept, nearly a full year after it had been rolled out at an auto show, I decided I was officially the "least wired" most behind the times victim of technology poverty. For all I knew, the damn thing was already rolling off of some factory line in Mexico. Jeep toyed with us, and lete us think it would be in this year's line up of new products. I think I read somewhere that Jeep decided against making it a production model, in part, because it wanted to focus on its great new line up. Right. Other than the Unlimited, its new lineup looks like the offspring between the involuntary mating of a first generation Saturn SUV and a 1995 vanilla flavored Cavalier. It saddens me that Chrysler, the only domestic source of original auto design in the US in the last decade, would allow such cheesy-ass designs to be unleashed on the public. I hope Kerkorian buys the whole damn lot of you, and installs me as the new CEO. We are gonna shake some shit up. In the mean time, there is an aftermarket source for a version of the Gladiator, called the Brute, from American Expedition Vehicles. Supposedly a bolt on, paint it and fire it up kit. I sent an email a couple of weeks ago to technical support, haven't heard back. Maybe they knew my next question was a "loaner" version...

Somebody stopped by here looking for video of Don Garlits' blowover at the Summernationals. Jeez, I wish. I started my own search trying to help you out, and did come across Quarter Milestones Photography. These folks knew how to take drag racing pictures, not like the some of the sad sack images that get recycled with the NHRA sanctioned photogs these days. Garlits sells a video through his gift store, and I am certain that the last video offered on the video page must contain the footage you are looking for. Yeah, I know... it is the information age, and who wants to pay for something like that? It is getting harder and harder to find cool pics and videos of "Dragsters Gone Wild" without incurring the wrath of the NHRA's Intellectual Property attorneys or the "No right Click for you" copyright warning. I digress, Garlits also has a poster of his car at complete vertical during the 1986 blowover. Nothing to do with the Garlits blowover, but here is an interesting Popular Science article spawned by a 700 h.p. trip in a Frank Hawley trainer.

Somebody did a search about allegations that someone in Irving Texas was impersonating investigators from Child Protectice Services (CPS). I had an experience with CPS as late as Good Friday that reminds me how absolutely useless CPS is in the State of Texas. The institutional goal of "reunification" reportedly led to the violent death of over 200 children last year in the state of Texas. I fail to see how an impersonator could be any damned worse than the real thing. Let's talk about CPS when I have been back on my meds for an appropriate period of time.

Somebody dropped in trying to figure out the average annual billables for an insurance defense attorney in South Florida. A partner would probably say that 2300-2500 would be about right for what attorneys are paid, associates would tell you that anything over 1800 is slave labor, given how difficult it can be to bill 8 hours in a 10 hour day. On 9/11 I billed 5.4 hours. The year of my divorce, I billed 1600 hours. Two years ago I billed 2800, all I got to show for it was pneumonia. If South Florida pays well, gimme a call....

Somebody from Colorado was nosing around for information on Ft Worth BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse). I don't know what information they were looking for, but I can tell you a couple of things about BACA. No church, no bar association, no other group that I have ever belonged to takes care of its members the way BACA does. When someone is sick, needs help moving, whatever, BACA gets it done. And that is just the behind the scenes stuff they do for each other. In case you missed earlier posts, BACA's mission is to create a safer environment for abused children and to empower them in the face of courts, CPS and other predators.

Recently, many have stopped by here looking for more information on the raging debate about what caused Eric Medlen's death, and all of the many reasons that NHRA needs to slow cars/shorten races/remove aero/build NASCAR safe wall. Wish I had more information. Like everyone else, I have my own opinions, but I seem to be in the minority. I fear that the doves will kill drag-racing in my life time.

Finally, there is that sick contingent that somehow finds me, and I don't know if I am more concerned that you actually find me, or that I have written something that brings you here. Of the group, the clown who Googled "MILF librarians", man that is just wrong.

Waiting patiently for the Google search, originating from Viking Resorts, that reads "Hot woman ready to leave the industry, looking for short, balding, married man to rescue me from this high-roller hell. Cook, clean, mix martinis, promise never to fight with your wife." #1 Google hit...Formerly Living.